by Jack Canfield

This isn’t a trick question.

Certainly you know the answer—the person who has been responsible for the life you live right now: YOU.

Everything about you is a result of your doing or not doing… Your income. Debt. Relationships. Health. Fitness level. Attitudes and behaviors.

I’ve often said that you are either creating or allowing everything that is happening in your life.

I think everyone knows this in their hearts, but often times people convince themselves into thinking that external factors are the source of their failure, disappointment, and unhappiness.

External factors do not determine how you live. YOU are in complete control of the quality of your life, by either creating or allowing the circumstances you experience.

When I hear people complain about the state of their life (be it their problems with personal finances, weight, their jobs, or general dissatisfaction), I like to help them see things differently.

If they feel “stuck” and unable to move forward for whatever reason, I ask them to scrutinize both what is working well and what isn’t working well in their life and see how they’ve arrived at where they currently are.

For example, if a woman tells me she’s unhappy with her weight—she travels frequently, and has no to time to exercise or seek healthy foods—I point out that her weight is not a result of her travels and schedule. It’s an outcome of what she chooses to eat and how she chooses to move, regardless of her daily agenda. Why not make a conscious effort to pre-plan healthy meals and snacks, even if it’s on the go, and sneak in 10 minutes here and 10 minutes there to be physically active (hey, I know some frequent flyers that make it a habit of running through airports!).

If you’re frustrated with any area in your life, then it’s time to take a little inventory.

Certainly there are wonderful things happening, whether it’s your job, your romantic relationship, your children, your friends, or your income level. Your accomplishments are just as important as your missteps.

First, congratulate yourself on your successes; and then take a look at what isn’t working out so well. What are you doing or not doing to create those experiences?

Watch out! If you find yourself beginning to complain about everything but the choices you’ve made, then you need to take a step back. See if you can stop blaming outside factors for your unhappiness.

When you realize that you—and only you—create your experiences, you’ll realize that you canun-create them and forge new experiences whenever you want.

How empowering is that!

You must take responsibility for your happiness and your unhappiness, your successes and your failures, your good times and your bad times.

All too often we choose to claim the successes and blame the failures on others or other circumstances. When you stop blaming, however, you can take that energy and redirect it to focus on shaping a better situation for yourself. Blaming only ties up your energy. Imagine roping all the energy into a positive effort.

Some ideas to make this happen:

1. Believe, Believe, Believe! Have unwavering faith in yourself, for good and bad. Make the decision to accept the fact that you create all your experiences. You will experience successes thanks to you, and you will experience pain, struggle, and strife thanks to you. Sounds a little strange, but accepting this level of responsibility is uniquely empowering. It means you can do, change, and be anything. Stumbling blocks become just that—little hills to hop over. 

2. Take no less than 100% responsibility . Successful people take full responsibility for the thoughts they think, the images they visualize, and the actions they take. They don’t waste their time and energy blaming and complaining. They evaluate their experiences and decide if they need to change them or not. They face the uncomfortable and take risks in order to create the life they want to live.

3. Stop complaining . Look at what you are complaining about. I’m fat. I’m tired. I can’t get out of debt. I won’t ever get a better job. I can’t stand the relationship I have with my sister.I’ll never find a soulmate in life. Really examine your complaints. More than likely you can do something about them. They are not about other people, other things, or other events. They are about YOU.

4. Make an immediate change. Are you unhappy about something that is happening right now? Make requests that will make it more desirable to you, or take the steps to change it yourself. Making a change might be uncomfortable for you. It might mean you have to put in more time, money, and effort. It might mean that someone gets upset about it, or makes you feel bad about your decision. It might be difficult to change or leave a situation, but staying put is your choice so why continue to complain?

You can either do something about it or not. It is your choice and you have responsibility for your choices.

5. Pay attention. Looking to others for help and guidance is helpful, but don’t forget to stay tuned in to yourself—your behavior, attitude, and life experiences. Identify what’s working and what isn’t. If you need to, write it all down. Then…

6. Face the truth and take action for the long term . You have to be willing to change your behavior if you want a different outcome. You have to be willing to take the risks necessary to get what you want. If you’ve already taken an initial step in the right direction, now’s the time to plan additional steps to keep moving you forward, faster.

Isn’t it a great relief to know that you can make your life what you want it to be? Isn’t it wonderful that your successes do not depend on someone else?

If you need just one thing to do different today, than you did yesterday, make it this:

Commit to taking 100% responsibility for every aspect of your life. Decide to make changes, one step at a time. Once you start the process you’ll discover it’s much easier to get what you want by taking control of your thoughts, your visualizations, and your actions!

© 2010 Jack Canfield

* * *

Are you “stuck” in this area?
If you’d like me to personally help you clarify your vision for the year, align your goals with your purpose, and develop a detailed action plan to turn your dream into reality…

www.TheSuccessPrinciplesWorkshop.com

* * *

Jack Canfield, America’s #1 Success Coach, is founder of the billion-dollar book brand Chicken Soup for the Soul© and a leading authority on Peak Performance and Life Success. If you’re ready to jump-start your life, make more money, and have more fun and joy in all that you do, get your FREE success tips from Jack Canfield now at: www.FreeSuccessStrategies.com

Technorati Tags: believe, changes, happiness, jack canfield, stop complaining, Success Strategies, take action, take responsibility

This weekend for Family Night we watched “The Bucket List” with Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman.  It’s a wonderful comedy directed by Rob Reiner, one that warrants a second watch.  I saw it in the theater but I wanted to see it again.  The second time I heard some of the memorable quotes that I missed the first time.

The basic plot is that Edward (Jack) and Carter (Morgan) are terminally ill with cancer.  Once the news hits them they create a bucket list… fun things they want to do before they “kick the bucket.”  Some of the things they do are skydiving, driving hot rods, eating caviar, climbing the pyramids.

Along the way their life stories come out.  Carter had always wanted to be a history teacher so he’s an avid book reader and watches the TV show, “Jeopardy.”  Edward has been married and divorced 4 times and is pretty much addicted to working and making money.  He’s quite wealthy… but he never tells us just how much.

Both of the men are transformed during their adventure together.  Carter’s wife said that “he left a stranger and returned a husband.”  Edward finally found his joy.

Here are some of the other memorable quotes from the movie:

Thomas: “I’m proud of you.”  Edward: “Nobody cares what you think.”

Edward: ” I envy people who have faith, I just can’t get my head around it.”  Carter: “Maybe because your head’s in the way.”

Edward: “Have I fired you lately?” Thomas: “Not since the Oprah incident.”

Carter: “Edward, I’ve had baths that were deeper than you.”

Carter: “You measure yourself by the people who measure themselves by you.”

The message I took away from the movie was from the two questions they discussed sitting on top of the pyramid:

Have you found your joy?

Have you brought joy to others?

I think these are the best way to live and judge your life.

We rate this movie 2 Thumbs Up.

Technorati Tags: jack nicholson, morgan freeman, rob reiner, the bucket list

by Jack Canfield

In order to get what you want, you must first decide what you want.

Most people really foul up at this crucial first step because they simply can’t see how it’s possible to get what they want — so they don’t even let themselves want it.

What scientists now know about how the brain works is that you must first decide the ‘WHAT’ before your brain can figure out the ‘HOW’.

Once you lock-in your desires, your mind and the universe can step in.

Are you ready to get started?

STEP 1: Decide to Dream BIG and Be Willing to Dream BIG Dreams
Big dreams not only inspire you, but they also compel others to want to play big, too. Don’t think you should only dream big during economic heydays. Dream big every day, especially during tough times.

As soon as you commit to a big dream and really go after it, your subconscious creative mind will come up with big ideas to make it happen. You’ll start attracting the people, resources, and opportunities you need into your life to make your dreams come true.

STEP 2: Set Goals That Will Stretch You
Another value in giving yourself permission to go after the big dreams is that big dreams require you to grow in order to achieve them. In fact, in the long run, this is the greatest benefit you will receive from pursuing your dreams — not so much the outer trappings of fulfilling the dream (an expensive car, impressive house, loads of money and philanthropic opportunities), but who you become in the process.

As I’ve seen many times over, the outer symbols of success can all be easily lost. Houses burn down, companies go bankrupt, relationships end, cars get old, bodies age and fame wanes, but who you are, what you have learned, and the new skills you have developed never go away. These are the true prizes of success.

STEP 3: Service to Others
As you pinpoint what you want to go after, think about how you can be of service to others. When your dreams include this element, you’ll find yourself speeding along the path to accomplishing that goal. People want to be part of something that makes a difference.

STEP 4: Turn Your Dreams into Goals and Objectives
Once you are clear about what you want, you must turn each item into a measurable goal. By measurable, I mean measurable in space and time, how much and by when. Don’t just say that you want to lose weight, for instance. Be specific, push yourself to higher limits, and set dates. Say something like, “I want to lose 50 pounds by summer and participate in my community’s 10K for charity by the 4th of July.”

Similarly, your boss, your friends, your spouse, your brain — God, the Universe — can’t figure out what you want unless you specifically tell them what it is.

What do you want — exactly — and when do you want it by?

Step 5: Write Your Goals Down
Write your goals down in detail, and read your list of goals every day. This will keep your subconscious mind focused on what you want. For an even more powerful approach, close your eyes and focus on each goal and ask yourself, “What is one thing I could do today to move toward the achievement of this goal?” Write down your answers and take those actions.

I recommend writing down a minimum of 3 goals in each of the following 7 areas:

1. Financial Goals
2. Career/Business Goals
3. Free Time/Family Time
4. Health/Appearance Goals
5. Relationship Goals
6. Personal Growth
7. Making a Difference/Contribution

If you want help getting started, I have some handy worksheets and even more guidance for you that models this formula, including examples. Click here to access this FREE Audio Training and Action Guide to start creating all that you deserve in your life!

© 2010 Jack Canfield

* * *

Are you “stuck” in this area?
If you’d like me to personally help you clarify your vision for the year, align your goals with your purpose, and develop a detailed action plan to turn your dream into reality…

www.TheSuccessPrinciplesWorkshop.com

* * *

Jack Canfield, America’s #1 Success Coach, is founder of the billion-dollar book brand Chicken Soup for the Soul© and a leading authority on Peak Performance and Life Success. If you’re ready to jump-start your life, make more money, and have more fun and joy in all that you do, get your FREE success tips from Jack Can field now at: www.FreeSuccessStrategies.com

Technorati Tags: dream big, set goals, write your goals down

For our last family night my son and I watched “Slumdog Millionaire.” Some movie critics called it the “feel good movie of the year.”  I would agree with that… with a warning that there are many sad and horrifying events before you get to the feel good part.

It’s set outside Mumbai, India, mostly in the slums, where orphans Jamal and his brother Salim grew up. The story follows them as they encounter gangsters, people traffikers, and police brutality.

In the end, it chronicles Jamal’s journey to find the love of his life, Latika, whom they befriended as youngsters just after their mother was murdered.  He has found her… and lost her… twice before.

It culminates with Jamal appearing as a contestant on the Indian version of the TV show, “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?” because he hopes Latika will be watching.

This movie is rated R and not for young children.  But hopefully watching it with teens will help them feel grateful for the abundant lives we live.

Technorati Tags: family night movie, india, slumdog millionaire, who wants to be a millionaire

In my last post I told you that the first habit I’m working on for 2010 is waking early.  The next step in the process is to break down that new habit into 8 baby steps.  Here are the baby steps for waking early:

1. get up within 5 minutes of alarm going off
2. go to bed at 10:00 p.m.
   
3. get up at 7:30 a.m.
4. get up at 7:00 a.m.
5. get up at 6:30 a.m.
6. get up at 6:00 a.m.
7. get up at 5:30 a.m.
8. get up at 5:00 a.m.

I should clarify that this is a 6 days/week plan.  I’m allowing myself one day per week to wake up without an alarm.  Most experts suggest that you should get up at the same time every day… mostly because that will train you to go to bed at the same time every night.  We’ll see how this goes.

Update: last night I reread the 6 Changes blog post and remembered that I needed to break down my change into 8 baby steps.  So I decided the first baby step was simply getting up with the alarm, rather than laying in bed dozing for another 30-45 minutes. (I use a clock radio so I would lay in bed listening to the local radio station.)

So today I got up a few minutes after the alarm went off.  Success on Day 1! 

photo credit sean dreilinger

Technorati Tags: baby steps, changes, habits, waking early

My son and I revived Movie Night.  We have chosen to downsize and simplify our lifestyle so that means Netflix rather than seeing movies in the theater.

Tonight we watched the British drama “Is Anybody There?” starring Michael Caine. It’s set in a seaside English town in the 1980′s.

Edward’s parents have turned their home into a retirement home to make ends meet. It’s a little creepy, but seems perfect for Edward who is obsessed with ghosts.

Michael Caine plays The Amazing Clarence, a retired magician who checks himself into the home. Clarence is crotchety and cranky and grieving the loss of his wife.

Edward’s lonely so he befriends Clarence and badgers him into teaching him some magic tricks to impress the kids at school. Clarence agrees because he has observed Edward’s obsession with death, and avoiding his life in the present.

For Edward’s 11th birthday his mother agrees to a birthday party.  And he gets Clarence to perform a magic show.  And yes, one of the tricks goes badly wrong… fail!

In spite of the morbid setting there were many humorous moments.  And Michael Caine’s acting was superb.  Some critics called it his finest performance.

I wouldn’t really call this a family movie because of the morbid topic and the requisite sexual innuendos.  But it’s a good change of pace from mindless movies… one that will cause you to ponder how well you’re living in the present.

Technorati Tags: british, english seaside, is anybody there, magician, michael caine, Movies

So it’s January 1st and everyone is writing about their New Year’s resolutions and goals for the year.  I found some new blogs this week that I’ve been reading and they inspired me to approach the start of this new year differently.

The first step was to pick the 4-5 things that are the most important to me.  This is from a post on the Zen Habits blog called Simple Living Manifesto. It didn’t occur to me right away but I soon realized that I had been writing them in my bio on social media sites:

• good food
• good wine
• good friends
• good health

The goal is to make time in your life for these things.

Next I stumbled onto another of Leo’s blogs where he describes the 6 Changes Method as an alternative to New Year’s resolutions and goal setting. Basically you choose 6 new habits that you want to form and cement in your life over the next year. So my 6 habits for 2010 are:

1. waking early
2. reading
3. listening to hypnotherapy CD’s
4. daily exercise
5. being present
6. having FUN

You work on each one of the habits for 2 months before working on another habit. I have chosen waking early as my first habit.  I’m declaring it publicly to you, my readers, so you can hold me accountable.

What does waking early mean? Ultimately my goal is to wake early so I can exercise in the morning before I go to work, rather than in the evening after dinner.  I’ve tried exercising in the evening before and my schedule was sporadic.

Since I’m not working now, waking early won’t mean o-dark-thirty… but it will mean earlier than I have been lately.  My intention is 7:00 a.m. tomorrow.  Haven’t been up that early on a Saturday in years.

I’ll be logging my progress here as well.  So hold me accountable… and maybe get inspired yourself along the way.

Happy New Year’s!

photo credit flightlessXbird

Technorati Tags: changes, goals, habits, new year's resolutions, waking early, zen